PolyPaths in Action #3
Navigating Academia, Guilt, and the Joy of Being Whole
A few months ago, I had the pleasure of connecting with Apurva, a PhD student in economics at University of Barcelona, navigating the intense demands of academia. Like many PolyPaths, Apurva feels the pull of multiple interests but struggles with the guilt of taking time away from her primary path of research and coursework. Our conversation explored how to embrace recharging activities not as distractions, but as essential fuel for a fulfilling, productive, and authentic life.
Fast forward to today, Apurva sent a lovely note on how she has been able to make progress on a path to a happy and holistic life!
Now let’s go back in time to December 2024 to the Apurva-Apoorvaa conversation (Yes! There are multiple ways to spell the same name :D) —
Apoorvaa: Apurva, it sounds like you're managing a really demanding schedule with your PhD. Tell me a bit about what fills your days and where you're feeling the tension.
Apurva: Yes, it's intense. Between courses and research, my days are packed. I know I need time to recharge, but honestly, I feel so guilty stepping away. I'm part of a Saturday book club, which I genuinely enjoy, and I try to meditate on weekends. But then I think about how I should be learning the piano and hike more, and I really miss writing poetry. It feels like a constant battle between what I have to do and what rejuvenates me, and the guilt often wins.
Apoorvaa: I hear that completely, Apurva. That feeling of guilt is so common, especially in the demanding days of PhD. But first, let me say, you're already weaving beautiful threads into your PolyPathic journey with the book club and meditation! That’s wonderful. It sounds like you are struggling with the feeling that you should be doing more, incorporating more paths in your life?
Apurva: Exactly! It feels like I should add piano and poetry back in, maybe even chess – but the thought alone feels exhausting sometimes.
Apoorvaa: And that's a key signal! Instead of viewing paths as a checklist, maybe we can reframe it. Which of these activities truly energize you right now? Which ones bring you that deep sense of joy and make you feel more you? Those are the ones to prioritize, because counterintuitively, they'll likely make you more efficient and fulfilled in your PhD work, not less. It’s also perfectly okay to gently let go of things, even things you once loved, if they aren't serving you in this particular season of life.
Apurva: That’s a relief to hear. I do love the book club, it feels like a real connection. Meditation helps calm the research stress. Poetry... I miss it deeply, but the idea of scheduling it feels like another pressure right now.
Apoorvaa: That makes total sense. The best time to weave in a new path, or re-engage with an old one like poetry, is when you genuinely feel the mental space for it, when it feels like an invitation, not an obligation. Life is long, Apurva! If poetry is important, its time will come again when it feels right, not forced.
Think of these phases where things feel unbalanced – like missing poetry right now – as data. The unhappiness you feel from its absence tells you something valuable. It confirms that poetry is a core path for you, something to intentionally carve out space for when the time is right, perhaps when your coursework lightens or your research hits a different phase.
Apurva: Using unhappiness as data... I like that. It makes it feel less like a failure and more like information for the future. But what can I do now to feel less guilty and more energized without adding big things?
Apoorvaa: Great question! Small shifts can make a huge difference. Have you tried just a short midday walk? Even 15-20 minutes can be a powerful physical and mental reset, boosting focus when you return to research. Also, for life maintenance things like groceries, cooking, cleaning, can you batch those tasks, maybe dedicating a specific block of time so they don't bleed into your whole week? Same with emails or social media – boxing that time can free up mental energy for the paths you truly value.
Apurva: Batching maintenance... I could try that. My email checking is definitely scattered. A midday walk feels doable too.
Apoorvaa: Wonderful! And most importantly, Apurva, please give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being. It’s not selfish; it’s strategic. Think of it as essential maintenance for your most important instrument – you! Only when you're feeling replenished and whole can you truly be that stellar student, generate your best ideas, and give your all to your thesis and, ultimately, to life. Being the best version of yourself is the best thing for your PhD, and for the world!
Actionable Insights for All PolyPaths
Ditch the Checklist Mentality: Don't add paths out of obligation. Prioritize activities that genuinely energize and bring joy in your current life season. It's okay to say 'no' or 'not right now'.
Use Unhappiness as Data: Periods of imbalance or missing a path aren't failures; they're valuable data points highlighting what's truly important for your well-being and authentic self.
Timing is Everything: Introduce new paths (or reintroduce old ones) when you have the genuine mental bandwidth, not when it adds stress. Trust that important paths will find their time.
Small Resets Matter: Short breaks, like a midday walk, can significantly impact focus and efficiency without requiring large time commitments.
Batch the Mundane: Grouping maintenance tasks (groceries, cleaning, emails) frees up mental space and time for the paths that truly matter.
Well-being IS Productive: Give yourself permission to put your well-being first. It's not a detour from your goals; it's essential fuel for achieving them. Only the best version of you can do your best work.
PS: If you're also navigating the complexities of multiple paths, we would love to help and feature you in the next PolyPaths in Action. Your story can be an inspiration to many! Schedule a call with PolyPaths today.