Are You Optimizing for the Right Life?
You’ve mastered the climb, but is the view worth it? Let's rethink success and ambition...
From the moment we stepped into a classroom as kids, there was a message subtly ingrained around us – Strive for the top! We chased the best grades and top ranks in all the tests. We spent years optimizing resumes for the most coveted internships and university admits.
This mindset which formed a blueprint for academic success for many of us (including me), directly translates into our professional lives. We optimize for the fastest promotions, the highest bonuses, the most prestigious titles. The goal is always to climb, to achieve, to conquer the next rung on the ladder.
But what if that ladder is leaning against the wrong wall? What if, in our fervent pursuit of one singular peak, we're overlooking entire mountain ranges of joy, connection, and profound meaning? At some point, amidst the ceaseless climb, we have to pause, step back, and ask –
Are we truly optimizing for life?
Do You Know What You Are Optimizing For?
It's a question many of us don't consciously ask, and the answer can be unsettling. When we relentlessly pursue a singular definition of success – often career advancement or financial gain – we can inadvertently construct a life that feels increasingly hollow, without even realizing why.
We might hit all the conventional milestones, earn the accolades, and climb to impressive heights, yet still experience a nagging sense of emptiness, a quiet internal whisper - "Is this all there is?"
Imagine planting a single seed in a vast, fertile garden, then pouring all your water and sunlight into just that one plant. It might grow impressively tall, but the rest of the garden remains barren, making itself more evident as we zoom out in life.
When we mindlessly focus on just one thing, we unknowingly starve other vital parts of ourselves: our capacity for deep connection, our creative spirit, our physical vitality, our sense of play, or our pursuit of meaningful causes.
This isn't to say ambition is to be discarded. Far from it! You absolutely can be great at many things, and we constantly highlight examples of PolyPaths who exemplify multi-dimensional excellence. My main point isn't to be less ambitious, but to be ambitious about life itself.
For me, ambition is how can I live my best life? How can I apply the same drive and intentionality not just to my career, but to my music, my relationships, and all that’s meaningful to me 🙂
The Alcaraz Mindset: A Champion's Perspective on Life
Recently, I was watching some parts of the nail-biting French open and Alcaraz’s epic victory with my cousin. As I was in awe of this tennis virtuoso, my cousin mentioned his unique approach of focusing on enjoying the game over winning, and it really caught my attention.
“I always say I’d love to be remembered as an inspiration to young kids, and as someone who had fun doing what he loved, with a smile on his face.” - AlcarazTo a tennis outsider like me, Carlos Alcaraz appears to be the epitome of singular ambition, dedicating every fiber to becoming the best tennis player on the planet. Yet, despite his extraordinary talent and meteoric rise, he famously stated that he is not obsessed with being the best in the world.
Think about that for a moment. A world-class athlete, with every aspect of his existence optimized for competition, explicitly rejects the singular obsession with being number one. Why? Because for Alcaraz, being "the best" seems to be a byproduct of a larger, richer pursuit of a full life!
His ambition isn't confined to the tennis court; it encompasses a broader vision of well-being and fulfillment. His excellence in tennis then becomes a natural outcome of a life well-lived, rather than the sole purpose for living.
“Part of the key to success is figuring out what works for you, even if it’s different from everyone else” - AlcarazMy Own Path: The Unoptimized Notes
Looking back, even with music being such an integral, life-giving part of my identity, I sometimes feel amiss that I never consciously optimized for it in the way I did for my academic or professional pursuits. It was always there, a steady companion, but often a secondary consideration when major life decisions were being made, especially in terms of geographical location. In a way, it forced me to take initiative and build musical groups wherever I went, but I do wonder how things would have been if I had also been at a music hub such as New York or Los Angeles in my early years in the US.
This is a lesson I have learnt late in life and is now a lens through which I make any big life decision. Impressively, there are those who get it right from the start. I remember another PhD student that I met at a conference who mentioned how she meticulously researched not just the academic ranking of universities, but also the local music scene, and hiking trails. For her, choosing a university wasn't just about the "best admit" after graduation; it was about choosing an environment that would allow multiple aspects of her to flourish. That, to me, is the right way to think about optimization for life.
Optimize Your "Best Life" Starting Today
So, what does it mean to "optimize for the best life"? It means consciously designing a life where ambition is distributed across the domains that bring you meaning, joy, and growth. It's about asking yourself:
What aspects are fundamental to my well-being?
Where do I feel a genuine sense of purpose and growth, beyond traditional metrics?
What does "success" look like when defined by all of me, not just one part?
Optimizing for the best life is an ongoing journey of self-awareness, intentional choices, and embracing the beautiful complexity of being a PolyPath.
It's about living not just most efficiently, but most electrifyingly!
PS: If you are thinking about how to best optimize your life, I have just the right thing for you. I am hosting an online webinar on designing a life around all your passions in July, and you can register HERE to attend the same. Excited to see you multifaceted achievers there! 🙂